Portable Pretties for Playboys

If you've ever flipped through the back pages of any sort of vintage "men's magazine", you likely saw ads for those hilariously pathetic, unrealistic, inflatable sex dolls, (which are basically rubber pool toys with a couple of holes already punched in, and how anyone could have any actual real fun with any of it is beyond me!) But there was always one mail-away ad in the girlie mag mix where the doll pictured seemed to be infinitely better made, higher quality like a mannequin, and apparently still made of sturdy, vinyl-like soft-skin flesh, --and this one was called The Instant Party Doll. Much more realistic looking, and designed in a very stylized, very cute cartoon girl way, TIPD had real hair, an hour glass figure, lots of other curves and adults only detail, plus a rather attractive, eyes closed face (minus the typically ridiculous "O" mouth so common with these types of dolls.) According to the ad, she had a variety of practical, everyday uses as well: in the office, club, conventions, etc, and yes, even as a mannequin, complete with a stand for displays. She was also $70, and to me, seemed a bit too good to be true, I mean, surely this was just another false advertising mail-away scam, right? But then I dug up a copy of the January 1967 issue of VUE Magazine, and lo and behold there was a 5-page, photo loaded feature article all about it...

DIS-GO Near Beer

I recently found this groovy can of DIS-GO Near Beer, which looks psychedelic 60's but is actually from 1976. 12 FL OZ of go-go juice power, to really get you bangin' 'n shangin' your lime green lang-a-thangs! Googlin' around for more info, I noticed there were other variations of the can that mention "non-alcoholic" under the logo, which explains what the "near beer" is all about. Made by Eastern Brewing Corporation based in Hammonton, NJ. Anyone remember this stuff?

Talking Comic Shows Coin-Op Machine

Buried in the back aisle of a midwest Ozark antique shop I spotted a great old Talking Comic Shows coin-op machine. Sad looking, silent, and in very poor condition, this child-size contraption harkened back to a time when cartoons weren't so readily available as they are these days any 'ol time you want (ie: on DVD, a dozen different pay channels, or the internet.) Yep, as we see here, your 5 cents delivered full color, animated entertainment featuring funny animals like Tom and Jerry, or maybe even a Daniel Boone adventure! Just plunk in your nickel and place your peepers up to the viewer for some awesomely antiquated, flicker box fun! Of course "adult" versions of these also existed, --a quick search on the www will also provide you quite the tanlizin' show!

Trouble Mug

Found a funny 60's kitsch drinkin' mug a while back featuring a curvy blonde beach babe running into some trouble with a precocious pooch! A nicely painted 3D effect wraps around about 3/4ths of the entire ceramic container, but alas, the spoils of all this classic Coppertone-esque trouble is not to be revealed. CLICK HERE for more frisky beach fun on a mug that I posted about last month!

VAMPIRES Blood-shot One-Shot

It's a few months late, but better late than never! In stores everywhere next week on November 23rd comes the foul-fanged follow-up to Mr. Karswell's bloodsuckin' debut at Asylum Press-- the Vampires Blood-Shot One-Shot! Over 30 pages of ghastly, gruesome, Golden era terror classics, plus a titillatingly terrific, *ADULTS ONLY* clothed and non-clothed variant cover from dynamic Drazen Kozjan! If this one doesn't spoil your Thanksgiving appetites-- nothing will!

The Brides of Barlow

This day in November 1979 marked the CBS broadcast debut airing of part one of Stephen King's, made-for-tv horror film, Salem's Lot. Directed by Tobe Hooper and starring David Soul, James Mason, Bonnie Bedelia, Lew Ayers, Reggie Nalder, and my childhood hero, Lance Kerwin, this great adaptation of my favorite King novel about a writer returning to his boyhood hometown only to discover that a vampire invasion has begun, is a bonafide nightmare classic. So for Halloween this year I wanted to do something different and created a Salem's Lot themed display, highlighted by my newly constructed, life-sized Mr. Barlow action figure, (see PARTS ONE and TWO HERE if you missed them), along with a few lovely ladies from my vintage mannequin collection, (heck, even Vampira makes a appearance!), PLUS, some well placed web netting and LED colored lights in my attic rafters. I was also hopefully determined to deliver an answer to the question that I've heard so many people ask over the years about the film: "Where exactly is Mr. Barlow throughout most of the film?" And yes, while it's true that most of Barlow's terrifying combined screen time could probably be clocked in minutes comparable to the total length of a typical 70's commercial break (less is definitely more though, you know!), we now learn that while the vampirically transformed townsfolk were busy infecting their neighborhood friends and family, Mr. Barlow actually kept himself quite busy with his trio of lovely brides. What's going on behind that light burning in the upper story of the haunted old Marsten mansion up on the hill, you ponder? Well, let me show you...                                                               

Making Mr. Barlow PT. 2

That's right, PT. 2... did you miss PT. 1? Just CLICK HERE for it. So okay, picking up where we left off in the previous post: I had the amazing Death Studios "Vampyre" Mr. Barlow display mask and hands, as well as the velvet cape / decorative collar piece that I fashioned out of an old halloween costume-- now I just needed to dig out some of my own tight black clothing: shirt, pants, socks (it's actually kind of funny to think about a monster like Mr. Barlow putting on socks for the evening), and then wrap all of it around a sturdy, standing framework. Lucky for me, --though unlucky for Macy's department store-- a local mall here has closed down, and most of the MIA stores there have been selling off their display fixtures and fashion mannequins for dirt cheap. Thankfully when I got there, they still had one very tall male mannequin, minus the head, and complete with metal supportive stand. Dressing the mannequin took mere minutes, as I'm sure by now, most of you already know I collect vintage mannequins and do dress application daily. Adding the final touch of monster mask and the ghastly, livid hands and HOLY OMG MOLY he looked perfectly terrifying, --even scaring all of the bugs out my work garage in seconds! The cape was of course too short, but I wanted to wait until I got him inside to extend it to the floor anyway, to avoid getting it dirty from the garage that I never sweep. You'll have to scroll all the way to the end of this post for a few of the long cape indoor pix. 

Okay, so now I have Mr. Barlow himself finished, what next? Surely he needed a victim. In the previous post I tested him out a'creepin' on a nun, but it just felt kind of meh. Then I started mulling over the idea that a victim could be more interesting with something that was sort of hinted upon in relation to the doomed Susan Norton character in Salem's Lot. Taking that thought a few steps further, we've also all seen that in every version of  Dracula he has a stable of beautifully devoted brides, --so couldn't Barlow have some as well? 

Stay tombed for the third and final, fright-filled act-- THE BRIDES OF BARLOW!