Tall Stories by Watt A. Lyre

 If you were in the mood for a tall story (just one) today then you came to the right place, as we crack open the April 1946 issue of Seven Seas #1 for some cute high seas hi jinx, aka a fishy tail for February! And as you read this, make special note of page two. Is there honestly any reason why this pointless padder exists in this story except, or course, to maybe beef up the page number? A little prat fall comedy relief is one thing, but it just seems so oddly added in it's almost a distraction. Read the story a second time and skip page two entirely, you'll see what I mean. Still, a fun little 40's quicky, and very funny too! And love that lil mermaid!

Sorry You're Sick!

 As mentioned in many of my greeting card posts in the past, the "get well" category of my collection leads all the other holidays and situational themed cards combined (in number), and by miles too. And as it was reported this week in the news, the US death toll from Covid-19 has unfortunately and officially surpassed the 500,000 mark. It seems unreal, and while I don't take this matter lightly, I do think that sometimes laughter can be a decent dose of medicine, so I guess that means maybe it's time to reach into the collection box and pull out something else to mark the occasion. This midcentury Forget-Me-Not from Laurel Cards seems a good fit, with its stubble-faced palooka character strong-armin' his weight all over the place and trying to be sympathetic to our sickly situation. Yep, as we all anxiously await our turns with this painfully slow vaccine roll-out, doing our best to avoid crowds, trying not to worry, taking it cautiously easy, and patiently waiting... well... ummmm, howz'about we speed things up a bit and kick this thing, already? What a year!

GET US WELL-- QUICK!!! 

The Hang Hiss Horror of it All

I was cleaning out the photo folder on my phone and found some images I've snapped and forgotten about over the last few years. These things were too pricey for my antiquer wallet, but still deemed worthy of a photograph. SEE! The morbidly macabre, mid century, Hang Man Game from Zany Toys, quote: "fun for all", and clearly beating out Parker Brothers with the "zany" strangulation concept by a few decades. SEE! The cute ceramic snake shaped ashtray with a funny slogan, jewel eyes, and a handy basket compartment to store your wooden matches (or pot.) I really regret not buying this now! ARGHH! And finally SEE! A 70's spook show poster with The Optimist Club (of St. Louis) inviting you to "A Night of Horror!" packed with monsters and a live, onstage human cremation-- and at the same Meramec Community College campus where I learned Japanese (badly), and filmmaking to boot!

Joy Jingle Contest

Ten-shun! I recently found this fun, 1950's Joy dishwashing liquid jingle contest booklet, and with a neato tie-in to CBS TV favorite, Phil Silvers and his classic Sgt. Bilko character on "The Phil Silvers Show" to boot! Finish the jingle and mail it in to win a $32,000 money tree. Super great character art, and man, I really wish the Joy bottle still had that cool, clean design. Just for fun, let's hear some of you finish the jingle in the comments below!

Thou Shalt Not Mr. Woodp#%ker

Excerpts from an article in the pages of Night and Day magazine (Volume 1 #1, November 1948) referring to what ridiculous lengths the movie industry went to when imposing censorship on popular cartoon characters of the era, in this case, Mr. Woody Woodpecker. Being mean to animals or old people, telling lies, and heaven forbid-- kissing another character (gasp!) is right up there with murder, firearms, and (gasp! #2) --milking cows! Children should absolutely NEVER see where unwholesome milk comes from! Ever! I'm sure while reading this that many of you can quote a zillion animated examples of all these things appearing in countless classic cartoons since, so actual subsequent enforcement by the industry code now feels somewhat lazy, even suspect. Maybe 'ol Walter Lantz'd 'em in the bud. "Ha-ha-ha-haaaaa-HA!" --Woody

Lookin' for a Kiss...

One more vintage Hallmark holiday smooch, courtesy of (I think) the romantically macabre Monster Valentines set from 1971. I found this bloodshot, hairy-warted beaut a few months ago after digging around for hours through some really dusty old boxes (of ephemera) at an antique store in the city. Yet another prime example of how persistence and devotion to dusty old boxes can really pay off. And CLICK HERE for some appropriately themed blog post music too!

Magical VD

Love is still in the air-- even after two pregnant posts in a row-- and somehow we've reached Valentine's Eve in reverse order, if you catch my drift. Any 'ol how, to celebrate the wonders of Hallmark's hottest holiday, here's a few vintage kiddie VD cards I picked up over the last year, all magic themed, with two even featuring a clever bit o' slight of hand, via fantastical, mystical, mid century, fold-out technology. Don't just take my hand's word for it-- see for yourselves! 

You and Your Once More For Old Times Sake!

 In the comments of my last post it was suggested that I put the Kilroy girl statue next to some "happy figurines", so's that the sad lil knocked-up whipper snapper has some "uplifting company." Well, I couldn't quite find anything that would work in that precise, matched-up manner, --and then I also figured that since misery loves company, I do believe a more appropriate pairing with a couple of old-old timers already on my shelf seemed an aesthetically divine decision. And yes, they are not happy. And yeeeeah they are most definitely nothing even remotely close to being "uplifting company." Not to mention,  they're vintage 60's salty 'n peppery shakeroonies, --but! they are also figurines, and okay ::drumroll:: they also share an equally unfortunate, "surprise" situation. Could our poor 'ol headscratchin' gent below also be named "Kilroy?" 

Kilroy Was Here

 ...or was it the Devilish Man from two posts ago? This 1940's, solid plastic, novelty statue made during WW2 utilized the popular "Kilroy was here" slogan of the era to poke (literally) a little fun at the apparent booming side of our returning armed forces. Yes, now gunning hard at targets considered less enemy, and more of the female persuasion, someone else online summed it up perfectly with: "...it certainly makes for an offbeat addition to any wartime collection, remaining an interesting cultural artifact from a different time." Made by Hartland Plastics, Inc. in Wisconsin, the real question I'm sure everyone has is why this cute, and very pregnant 3 1/2" tall girl was designed to look like a 12 year old bobbysoxer!

The 1st Fangoria Splatterbowl (1984)

Today's the big day for sports fans, as those one guys from that one place take on those other dudes from that other town in what is sure to be another eventual collection of possibly entertaining commercials (pro) but also overrated halftime pop musical performances (con.) Meanwhile, over here at AEET, we'll be heading back to the November 1984 issue of Fangoria #39 and checking in with Uncle Bob for a re-cap of the first ever, no holds barred, smash-down, gouge-out, hack 'n slash, chonk 'n stomp, kill-o-rama, Fango Splatterbowl! Yes, it's Jason vs. Michael, --plus a couple of other surprises-- as they determine by deadly force who reigns bloody well supreme in this final elimination round of traumatizin' terror! Now doesn't that sound better than a Hail Mary?

 

The End!

Devilish Man ***ADULTS ONLY!!!***

We did a lil "devil shakin'" here at AEET last month, and now it's time to get "devilish" once again! And while the Prince o' Darkness in todays post may look a bit more like a sunburned horny native, underneath that flimsy cloth covering is something that could have only erupted from the very crotch of Hell itself. See for yourself-- just push down on his 'ol netherworld noggin' and see what ungodly [CENSORED] springs to life! Those of you that are faint of heart (or easily impressed) may want to cover your eyes, and / or hold your breath! 1960's kitsch like this doesn't come easy, ummm, --to find that is-- unless you're searching for a well-endowed monk or something even sillier that includes playful watersports (check the AEET Archive for a few examples of those!) Anyway, yeah. Devilish Man. I actually shot a video but after watching it back realized we might have to link it to Pornhub. "Did he get socked in the nose?" you ponder: We'll just have to ask the previous owner what happened there. So I photo'd him from all angles, plus the instructions, and even stripped him bare to showcase the inner workings of this depraved demon from down below. (And FYI: No relation to Devilman from Japan.)