Wednesday, November 16, 2016
Are You in the Know?
Are your velvet duds date-worthy? Does your noggin have news appeal? Are you a coquette videot lassie with a bugeteen buxom chassis? Well, don't just sit there like some damsel in distress-- whip out this handy dandy, helpful booklet from the Kimberly-Clark (Kotex) Corporation (1956), and put an end to those clammy hands and king size tootsies once and for all! That's right, you don't have to look like a BBQ'd lobster cuz it's all here... well, to be honest, it's half here in the last half of this booklet, because some prior jilted Jane scribbled all over the first half making some of it unbloggable. So we're unfortunately skipping the etiquette and dating chapters, and diving right into the grooming and fashion, plus a little bit of this 'n' that instead. I'm pretty sure you'll be fine with it. And god, you know what would REALLY make America great again? If people started talking in the voice this booklet was written in, it's so incredibly funny, as lines like "You break away from the babushkas... wow your cellmates with a whammy chapeau!", will most certainly leave all you Tiny Tess's higher than your squire, and bonin' up on your etc etc etcs... yep, it's confidence in capsules, chums!
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6 comments:
Wow - that language is hilarious. I don't think I've seen the word togs used so many times before in my entire life. I can't even imagine that this book could have been useful though. The advice is so bizarre. Ok - I'm off to rub some anti-perspirant all over my palms and some antiseptic on my sunburn.
Oh and btw - I want a Kepi!!!!!!!!!
Oh this is without a doubt the very best thing on the internet today. Everything is glorious. Let this be a lesson to the knightless teen angels of yesteryear: vandalize your treasured how-to booklets in a way clever enough for the following century's bloggers to embrace the added glam! Otherwise you're just taking one from the team.
Glad you two enjoyed this-- I was going to spend some time and try to fix the first half of the book (which is horrifically pencilled over with notes and scribbles) but clearly after working on just one page it was going to be way too time consuming. I might post it some other day anyway, but for now thanks for the comments :)
Got another cool kid's book up next!
Man, I am really into it. I read the whole thing twice already, and I keep digging back in to some of my faves. I also kept a couple of the pieces of art for later use as a profile pic or colorization (who knows?). If you decided to post a couple of pages from the beginning uncorrected, I think I would totally dig that too. Especially if there are bits and pieces that are still readable.
It's readable, it's just messy... gimme a few weeks and I'll see if I can get it looking pretty again. I would definitely be interested in some Mr C colonizations too! :)
... Wonderful to see so many!
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