Thursday, January 9, 2020

Phantom Acres: The Ozarks Mystery Spot!

Found this funny 50's brochure today for Phantom Acres Mystery Spot, a midwest roadside Americana tourist destination which was originally located near Bagnell Dam in Lake of the Ozarks, MO. On the countless drives to the Ozarks from STL as a kid back in the day, we always knew we were getting close to the lake when we'd start seeing the "?" billboards along the highway. I have a few memories of this place (and the attractions that surrounded it), but I also think they kind of get confused with the old Tiltmore Hotel at Six Flags (RIP.) Anyway, read the brochure pages below to learn of the gravity / perspective / weight / height defying mysteries (among others) that lay in wait for yon weary traveller at Phantom Acres. Can water and balls really run uphill? Confess your bafflement! Can you really stand at a 45 degree angle with no trouble at all? Utter your confusion! Is there some sort of substance in the ground that puts everything in the vicinity off kilter? Is it supernatural? Is it SATAN? UFOS? What? What?! WHAT??!!! According to the internet, like most things on the Bagnell Dam strip, Phantom Acres is long gone and probably replaced with a biker bar or something... who knows, I haven't been down there in years.





6 comments:

Armpit Studios said...

I went once when I was a kid. The girl doing the tour went through her spiel with the enthusiasm of a soggy potato chip, and dropped one of the wooden chairs that was supposed to be suspended by just 2 legs on the wall. It was kinda neat/fun, but even at my young age knew exactly what was going on.

We stayed at Point Breeze in Osage Beach for many years. There was an older couple who was always there that we hung around with. He drove their boat while she slalom skied and smoked. They owned a music store in St. Louis. Pat & Chuck Naher. I might have mentioned them before, but I feel like their memory is still floating around if I type it on the internet.

Unknown said...

There's a mystery spot like that in Oregon too. I've never been to it but there's pic of people standing diagonally like that. If you ask me I think it's all satan related.

Mr. Cavin said...

Ah man what a great brochure. I love stuff like this. And if I were to pass a big question mark billboard I would certainly be compelled to pull over and take a peek. And if that ain't a certain kind of special gravity, I don't know what is.

Closest I had when I was a kid was SC's racist South of the Border, a surreal pit stop between me and Myrtle Beach that still totally exists somehow.

Mr. Karswell said...

>owned a music store in St. Louis. Pat & Chuck Naher

Interesting! I'll have to research that.

There's a mystery spot in TN somewhere too, CPC, I have a brochure for that one too somewhere around here.

I always wondered where that giant Mexican man statue was from, Mr. C --I see him on tumblr a lot.

Mr. Cavin said...

"I always wondered where that giant Mexican man statue was from"

And now you know! It comes from my childhood. We drove past it on I-95 at least twice each summer. It was definitely well past halfway to the yearly vacay, and so it represented an appetizer of sorts. Of course, there were also dozens of "funny" billboards starting thirty miles away in both directions, so it made the trip seem like it took forever. Ha!

Tom said...

I've been collecting these locations for a while now. I did a post on them here: https://garagesalin.blogspot.com/2016/04/a-view-askew.html

I've never heard of Phantom Acres and being right here in Missouri to boot! Would you mind if I add your images to my collection, with credit of course?